Some couples prefer the privacy of meeting privately with me, without other couples present, such as at a workshop. In totally private confidential sessions, conducted at your home, I am more free to do a completely confidential treatment of a variety of concerns couples have. For instance, talking about addictions or childhood abuse issues cannot be done at the seminar, but can be explored in confidential private couples counseling sessions at your home. While it can be useful to explore each partner’s history more thoroughly, it can also take up time that might better be used for learning the agreements and the skills.
Private marriage counseling, training or therapy done at your home can not only keep confidential a couple’s identity; but can be more effective also. There is security in knowing there is no insurance records, no waiting room and no thoughts of people knowing about the private concerns you have for your relationship. Avoid other people knowing that you’ve gone to a therapy office together, by having me come to your home. If I have assessed, after some experience with you as a couple, that more intensive treatment is necessary, I will make those recommendations.
I have 30 years experience as a facilitator of anger management and domestic violence men’s groups. That experience has shown me that some relationship conflict that developed into legal matters, need not have gone there, if only there was effective training and education in certain skills and agreements. Being able to tolerate and respond to a partner’s anger is a skill. Being able to respectfully express yourself when you’re upset and angry is a skill. It’s critical to have an agreement that grants either partner the right to leave the room to take a hour break. People think they’ve tried a time out agreement, but I’ve been around long enough to know the typical reasons that the agreement fails. Couples that have high conflict often make this effective agreement in the first session.
A final comment about my style of therapy and coaching – I do not sit calmly, nodding my head saying “Uh-huh, tell me more… Sorry, time’s up.” Especially with couples! I will be directive. You will know who I am. You will know what I think. If I think that a man or woman is acting with contempt, aggression or hostility while speaking in a session, I make it clear that hostility is present. That hostility will probably become the focus in that session. In many cases, I can help restate the feelings or thoughts that the hostility is masking. Sometimes, the harsh edge in someone’s voice is a reaction to having difficulty accepting what the partner was saying.
In fact, people who become a little hostile with their partner often complain that their point of view doesn’t get addressed within their relationship, or within the session with me. Until there is an acknowledgment of the disrespectful behavior accompanied by a sincere commitment to change, that person will be dealing with the effects of their behaviors. Contempt, aggression, blame and hostility stops communication and it is poison to repairing the relationship. I’ve developed methods and techniques for moving through conflict like this in a responsible, compassionate, and yet firm style.
Couples coaching and relationship coaching is different from marriage therapy in that there is no diagnosis involved and there is no exploration of unconscious forces or motives. Before we begin any sessions we will be clear about whether the sessions are for clinical psychotherapy or for coaching purposes. Communities I can easily serve include Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Santa Monica, Culver City, Bel Air, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and Brentwood.
My fee for therapy is $180/hr a session in my office.
My rate for traveling to a private coaching session at your home or office is $300/hr.
If you do not think that you made progress as a couple by the end of the session, I will cut the fee in half!
Since I believe that many problems occuring within relationships are a result of not knowing other ways of expressing or listening to each other; then my manner of therapy can be didactic and educational at times. This means that I will talk more than most other traditional therapists. I encourage my clients and couples to let me know if they feel we are not on the right track. I want you to tell me if you think we are going down an unproductive street or subject. I can also shut up and listen to the patient, or the couple, when the problem is not so simple as those requiring the agreements, skills and methods of the Course.
Marc Sadoff, MSW, BCD – Founder/Owner Pacific Skills Training Co. 2211 Corinth Ave. Suite 309 Los Angeles, CA 90064
Phone- 310 444-1951