Seminar Manual Helps Stop Verbal Abuse With Great Communication Skills

About the Seminar Manual
Not sure yet?..... scroll down this page to get a link to download a portion
of the manual, including a great first exercise that sets the tone for the rest of the book.

For less than cost of a dinner out, you can transform your relationship!

•  The workbook instructs you how, what and when to say just the right thing during disagreements. No more blaming.

•  It's not just great information! The workbook is full of exercises and practice examples of typical conflicts that real couples often have.

•  In the workshop couples receive two workbooks, because each partner fills out many pages of exercises and self test inventories.

•  What sets our manual apart from other relationship conflict books is that half of the manual is devoted to exercises which educate, illustrate, model and transform the way conflict is perceived  When you order the hardcopy of the workbook you also get, as a gift, the downloadable .pdf of the manual! Get started right now with improving your relationship.

Full Money Back Guarantee! We're so confident that if you practice the skills and make the agreements with your partner you will experience a shift for the better in your relationship. If you don't find the manual of value to you we will give you your money back.

Order hard copy of seminar manual here.  $39.95

Impatient to get started...Can't wait for the mail?  Go HERE to download the entire homestudy course seminar manual for $9.95 so you can immediately do the exercise, called 'I play some role in our problems', that we use at the beginning of our workshop that brings many couples to tears of joy and hope.

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       Why Does My Partner Think That EVERYTHING Is My Fault?

     Read this fantastic POEM about what happens as you take more responsibility for the problems in your life.  Most people intuitively believe that avoiding responsibility for problems is the best path to take.  The POEM and my course show you how EMPOWERING it is to sweep your side of the street by first addressing how you can see how you have contributed to the very problem you would like the other to address.

Learn how to:  Communicate effectively, safely & respectfully.  Work as a team solving problems together..  Know the difference between a complaint, a criticsm and contempt.  Express & resolve conflicts without damaging closeness.  Preserve and enhance love, commitment, and friendship.  Stop the misunderstandings which cause aggressive arguing and defending.  Eliminate the frustrations caused by male & female communication differences.  Use the 4 step problem solving method. Solve problems instead of finding blame.  Stop the bickering and hear each other!  Make sure both sides are heard.  Decide if you want to stay together.

Discover:  The most powerful 3-step technique for listening to someone else's anger.  How to express your own anger in a way which does not make  the situation worse.  How to turn anger & disappointment with someones' behavior into a process for increasing intimacy & understanding.  How to keep arguments from getting out of control.  The four sentences that can bring people together.  Two phrases that show "I respect your feelings and it's safe to talk to me."  The three questions to ask yourself, which will help you decide if you should stay in your current relationship; or if you should leave.  That change is possible! And that change can 'begin with me.'

I want to know if I make you feel bad, or scared.   I'll listen to you without interrupting if you ask.   I'll spend 20 minutes a week with you to talk safely about issues we might have.  I'll let you leave the room, if you feel intimidated.  I'll let you define if you feel intimidated by how I speak to you.  And I'll get some help if I can't follow these commitments (ie. "I'm out of my own control.")  Order manual here.   Join the RealHope Monthy Couples Tips list- Email: Table Of Contents Of The Seminar Manual  Commitments & Values- What's more important...Pride or your partner?  Agreement To Spend Weekly Time Together To Talk.  Listening Exchange- It's about taking turns!  Safety then Understanding the Other then Expressing My P.O.V.  Obstacles to Listening...What I Can Improve On?  Stop Destructive Arguing Using Time Outs.  Handling Contempt, Rejection & Hostility- It's not 'what you said' it's the 'way you said it.'  Respect Agreement- "I do not want to see myself making you feel badly."  What I'll Do If I Cannot Reasonably Keep My Agreements  Listening to the Anger of Others - First Pants then Shoes  Expressing Anger- Is This About Me...Or Is This About You?  Practice Vignette Examples  Personal Inventory - Childhood Influences on Current Conflicts.  Self Tests- Medical/Psychological Issues that Affect Conflict.  Physical, Psychological and Emotional Violence.  Should I Stay...or Should I Leave the Relationship?  Recommended Readings.  Order Hard Copy of seminar manual here.         Phone Coaching Of Relationships In Conflict         Your particular relationship problem may be a simple matter of some brief instruction, or brief summary of agreements to make with your partner.  Half hour and one hour phone consultations are available with Marc Sadoff, MSW, BCD.   The session will be scheduled for the first available time available.  You should be speaking with Marc within 24 hours.

Stop Arguing And Start Understanding Each Other Couples Handling Conflict With Confidence Seminars in Los Angeles. Affordable, effective & practical methods couples use in their marriage to handle anger, disagreements, fights and arguments. No psychobabble!   The two main skills are covered also:  1) Responding to someone who is angry. 2)  Expressing yourself when you are frustrated, hurt or angry. Learn these principles while you drive or exercise by getting these RealHope podcasts of Marc's interview that describes everything in the workshop and seminar manual. Marc was interviewed for 87 minutes by Beth Lapides and Marc lays out his whole program.  The philosophy of how it works and he outlines the common pitfalls for people using the workbook at home.  These podcasts are GREAT for couples who cannot come to Los Angeles for the workshop. The Podcasts AND the .pdf of the whole manual are ready for you to use RIGHT NOW!  You can put import this file into your iTunes or other .mp3 players and listen to great ways to change the quality of your relationship! Buy the One Hour Podcast download file of Marc's interview. and, you can hear the whole program laid out neatly for $9.95    Get the .pdf download of the workshop manual right now for only $9.95 .

WHAT'S IN THE WORKBOOK?

This workbook contains information and exercises that that will transform the way you handle conflict with your partner. There are 5 commitments that each partner makes out loud to the other. They are:

1. To reserve time each week for talks about each person's concerns about the relationship.
2. To listen to your partner without interrupting.
3. To leave the room when arguing escalates, by taking a time out.
4. To not allow intimidation, contempt and rejection to be a part of our dialogue. That means I won't tolerate intimid- ation by myself, or by my partner.
5. To get further help, if I cannot reasonably follow through with these basic commitments. Order hard copy of seminar manual here.

   The agreements interlock with each other in a way that ensures
   that just about every situation of conflict can be handled.

Worksheets

1. Listening & Responding Non-Defensively to Someone Who is Angry With You

2. Expressing feelings of sadness, hurt, frustration and anger in a constructive way!  So that your partner's ears are open to understanding.

3. My Personal Inventory - What is it about my personal history that may contribute to our conflict? What can I do about it? Self tests for addictions, violence, psychological disorders.

4. My Obstacles To Good Communication

5. Knowing the Difference Between Expressing Anger vs Hostility

6. Knowing My Time Out Cues

7. Identifying and challenging 'Abandoning and rejecting language.'

8. Should I Stay Or Should I Leave This Relationship? - A checklist of things to consider before ending your relationship. What to do about fear or guilt about leaving. Three questions to ask yourself that will help you decide if you should leave.  (from the chapter called 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go?' in the manual- Go HERE to see the three exercises to help decide whether to stay or to go.

Still wondering if the methods and information in the Coming Together manual couples is
worth the cost of one fifth of a session with a therapist? Read the free tips online by going HERE. 

 

You insure your health...your car...and your life... Now insure that
your relationship grows into a lifetime of caring, respect and love!

This is great 'Relationship Insurance'!

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What To Do When There Is Physical Violence, Intimidation Or Emotional Abuse

    While Time Outs are an important part of handling abusive relationships; these methods are no replacement for treatment when physical abuse is present in a relationship. Do not attempt couples counseling when intimidating or violent behavior is occuring. Couples counseling creates the illusion that the problem is a communication or couples problem, when the real problem is the violent person's impulse control.   So the first order of business is that that person seeks professional help to control and cease his, or her, violence and intimidation.  That may consist of at least 5 or 6 months of treatment; before beginning to work on marital communication issues with both partners in the room.

    Whenever, there is violence and abuse, the violent one must FIRST get treatment for his or her problem of not controlling the violence/abuse. The one who is physically violent or emotionally abusive must seek help for his or her individual problem of lack of control. Group treatment by trained violence professionals is known to be the most effective type of therapy.  Standard individual psychotherapy, by therapists not trained in anger management or violence may even be counterproductive.  

     Please refer to the 800 799-SAFE domestic violence hotline telephone number or contact a women's shelter in your area for guidance and support.

    The best place to find referrals for therapists with experience in treating abuse is the municipal court, probation or city attorney. They will often have a list of county approved programs and therapists. Shop around and speak with a few therapists before you decide.

Tips & Facts About Relationship Violence

Important- My seminar manual is not designed for couples who have experienced physical violence in
the last 6 months.  Some of the techniques in the book, such as time outs, are helpful for couples in which there has been violence, but the book is not a substitute for professional treatment.   

Email me here, if there are any problems.