Seminar
Manual Helps Stop Verbal Abuse With Great Communication Skills
About
the Seminar Manual
Not sure yet?.....
scroll down this
page to get a link to download a portion
of the manual, including a great first exercise that sets the tone
for the rest of the book.
For less than cost of a
dinner out, you can transform your relationship!
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The workbook instructs
you how, what and when to say just the right thing during disagreements.
No more blaming.
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It's not just great
information! The workbook is full of exercises and practice
examples of typical conflicts that real couples often have.
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In the workshop couples
receive two workbooks, because each partner fills out many pages
of exercises and self test inventories.
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What sets our manual
apart from other relationship conflict books is that half of
the manual is devoted to exercises which educate, illustrate,
model and transform the way conflict is perceived When
you order the hardcopy of the workbook you also get, as a gift,
the downloadable .pdf of the manual! Get started right now with
improving your relationship.

Full
Money Back Guarantee! We're so confident that if you
practice the skills and make the agreements with your partner
you will experience a shift for the better in your relationship.
If you don't find the manual of value to you we will give you
your money back.
Order
hard copy of seminar manual here.
$39.95
Impatient to
get started...Can't wait for the mail? Go
HERE to download the entire homestudy course
seminar manual for $9.95 so you can immediately do the exercise,
called 'I play some role in our
problems', that we use at the beginning of our
workshop that brings many couples to tears of joy and hope.
Why Does My Partner Think That EVERYTHING
Is My Fault?
Read this fantastic POEM about
what happens as you take more responsibility for the problems
in your life. Most people intuitively believe that avoiding
responsibility for problems is the best path to take. The
POEM and my course show you how EMPOWERING
it is to sweep your side of the street by first addressing
how you can see how you have contributed to the very problem you
would like the other to address.
| Learn
how to:
- Communicate
effectively, safely & respectfully.
- Work as a team
solving problems together..
- Know the difference
between a complaint, a criticsm and contempt.
- Express &
resolve conflicts without damaging closeness.
- Preserve and
enhance love, commitment, and friendship.
- Stop the misunderstandings
which cause aggressive arguing and defending.
- Eliminate the
frustrations caused by male & female communication differences.
- Use the 4 step
problem solving method. Solve problems instead of finding
blame.
- Stop the bickering
and hear each other!
- Make sure both
sides are heard.
- Decide if you
want to stay together.
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Discover:
- The most powerful 3-step technique
for listening to someone else's anger.
- How to express your own anger in a
way which does not make the situation worse.
- How to turn anger & disappointment
with someones' behavior into a process for increasing intimacy
& understanding.
- How to keep arguments from getting
out of control.
- The four sentences that can bring
people together.
- Two phrases that show "I respect your
feelings and it's safe to talk to me."
- The three questions to ask yourself,
which will help you decide if you should stay in your current
relationship; or if you should leave.
- That change is possible! And that
change can 'begin with me.'
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- I want to know
if I make you feel bad, or scared.
- I'll listen
to you without interrupting if you ask.
- I'll spend
20 minutes a week with you to talk safely about issues we
might have.
- I'll let you
leave the room, if you feel intimidated.
- I'll let you
define if you feel intimidated by how I speak to you.
- And I'll get
some help if I can't follow these commitments (ie. "I'm
out of my own control.")
- Order
manual here.
Table
Of Contents Of The Seminar Manual
- Commitments
& Values- What's more important...Pride or your partner?
- Agreement To
Spend Weekly Time Together To Talk.
- Listening Exchange-
It's about taking turns!
- Safety then
Understanding the Other then Expressing My P.O.V.
- Obstacles to
Listening...What I Can Improve On?
- Stop Destructive
Arguing Using Time Outs.
- Handling Contempt,
Rejection & Hostility- It's not 'what you said'
it's the 'way you said it.'
- Respect Agreement-
"I do not want to see myself making you feel badly."
- What I'll Do
If I Cannot Reasonably Keep My Agreements
- Listening to
the Anger of Others - First Pants then Shoes
- Expressing Anger-
Is This About Me...Or Is This About You?
- Practice Vignette
Examples
- Personal Inventory
- Childhood Influences on Current Conflicts.
- Self Tests-
Medical/Psychological Issues that Affect Conflict.
- Physical, Psychological and
Emotional Violence.
- Should I Stay...or
Should I Leave the Relationship?
- Recommended
Readings.
- Order
Hard Copy of seminar manual here.

Phone Coaching
Of
Relationships In Conflict
Your particular relationship problem may be a simple matter
of some brief instruction, or brief summary of agreements
to make with your partner.
Half hour and one
hour phone consultations are available with Marc Sadoff,
MSW, BCD. The session will be scheduled for the
first available time available. You should be speaking
with Marc within 24 hours. |

Stop
Arguing And Start Understanding Each Other
Couples Handling Conflict With
Confidence
Seminars in Los Angeles.
Affordable, effective
& practical methods couples use in their marriage to
handle anger, disagreements, fights and arguments.
No psychobabble!
The
two main skills are covered also:
1)
Responding to someone who is angry.
2) Expressing yourself when you are frustrated, hurt
or angry.
Learn these principles
while you drive or exercise by getting these RealHope podcasts
of Marc's interview that describes everything in the workshop
and seminar manual.
Marc was interviewed
for 87 minutes by Beth Lapides and Marc lays out his whole
program. The philosophy of how it works and he outlines
the common pitfalls for people using the workbook at home.
These podcasts are GREAT for couples who cannot come to
Los Angeles for the workshop.
The Podcasts AND
the .pdf of the whole manual are ready for you to use
RIGHT NOW!
You can put import this
file into your iTunes or other .mp3 players and listen to
great ways to change the quality of your relationship!

Buy
the One Hour Podcast download
file
of Marc's interview.
and, you can hear the whole program laid out neatly for
$9.95

Get
the .pdf download of the workshop
manual right now for only $9.95 .
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WHAT'S
IN THE WORKBOOK?
This workbook contains information
and exercises that that will transform the way you handle conflict
with your partner. There are 5 commitments that each partner makes
out loud to the other. They are:
- To reserve time each week
for talks about each person's concerns about the relationship.
- To listen to your partner
without interrupting.
- To leave the room when arguing
escalates, by taking a time out.
- To not allow intimidation,
contempt and rejection to be a part of our dialogue. That means
I won't tolerate intimid- ation by myself, or by my partner.
- To get further help, if
I cannot reasonably follow through with these basic commitments.
Order
hard copy of seminar manual here.
The agreements
interlock with each other in a way that ensures
that just about every situation of conflict can be handled.
Worksheets
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Listening & Responding
Non-Defensively to Someone Who is Angry With You
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Expressing feelings of
sadness, hurt, frustration and anger in a constructive way!
So that your partner's ears are open to understanding.
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My Personal Inventory -
What is it about my personal history that may contribute to
our conflict? What can I do about it? Self tests for addictions,
violence, psychological disorders.
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My Obstacles To Good Communication
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Knowing the Difference
Between Expressing Anger vs Hostility
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Knowing My Time Out Cues
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Identifying and challenging
'Abandoning and rejecting language.'
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Should I Stay Or Should
I Leave This Relationship? - A checklist of things to consider
before ending your relationship. What to do about fear or guilt
about leaving. Three questions to ask yourself that will help
you decide if you should leave. (from the chapter called
'Should I Stay Or Should I Go?' in the manual- Go HERE
to see the three exercises to help decide whether to stay or
to go.
| Are
you saying?: |
Then
we say: |
| What
if it doesn't cover my type of relationship? |
If
it doesn't help, then get your money back. |
| Will I know
if my partner will try it? |
You
won't know until you show it to him/her. If you don't
ask the answer is always "No." You can use
the skills alone. Change can still come as you
become what you want the other to become. |
| We've tried
other books and seminars. |
How
important is your relationship? |
| We've already
been to therapy. |
This
is not therapy. It's skill building. |
| How
can such an inexpensive approach make such a big difference? |
Would
you say that to your auto mechanic? |
Still wondering if
the methods and information in the Coming Together manual couples
is
worth the cost of one fifth of a session with a therapist? Read
the free tips online by going HERE.
You insure
your health...your car...and your life... Now
insure that
your relationship grows into a lifetime of caring, respect and
love!
This is great
'Relationship Insurance'!
What
To Do When There Is Physical Violence, Intimidation Or Emotional
Abuse
While Time Outs are an important part of handling abusive relationships;
these methods are no replacement for treatment when physical abuse
is present in a relationship. Do not attempt couples counseling
when intimidating or violent behavior is occuring. Couples counseling
creates the illusion that the problem is a communication or couples
problem, when the
real problem is the
violent person's impulse control. So
the first order of business is that that person seeks professional
help to control and cease his, or her, violence and intimidation.
That may consist of at least 5 or 6 months of treatment; before
beginning to work on marital communication issues with both partners
in the room.
Whenever, there is violence and abuse, the violent one must
FIRST get treatment for his or her problem of not controlling
the violence/abuse. The one who is physically violent or emotionally
abusive must seek help for his or her individual problem of lack
of control. Group treatment by trained violence professionals is
known to be the most effective type of therapy. Standard individual
psychotherapy, by therapists not trained in anger management or
violence may even be counterproductive.
Please refer to the 800
799-SAFE domestic violence hotline telephone number
or contact a women's shelter in your area for guidance and support.
The best place to find referrals for therapists with experience
in treating abuse is the municipal court, probation or city attorney.
They will often have a list of county approved programs and therapists.
Shop around and speak with a few therapists before you decide.
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Tips
& Facts About Relationship Violence
Important- My
seminar manual is not designed for couples who have
experienced physical violence in
the last 6 months. Some of the techniques in the book,
such as time outs, are helpful for couples in which there has
been violence, but the book is not a substitute for
professional treatment.
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Warning
Signs Of Violent Relationships
Are you going out
with someone who?...
Acts jealous or possessive?
Is bossy, gives you orders?
Never seems to be able to say, "I see I did something
that hurt you.
Cannot take ANY responsibility for problems in the relationship.
Threatens to hurt you?
Verbally abuses you (puts you down, calls you names)?
Criticizes you, humiliates or degrades you? Especially in
an unwanted sexual context.
Makes all the decisions in the relationship?
Has a violent temper, has weapons, has a violent history?
Partner has tortured animals.
Won't let you have friends of the opposite sex?
Pressures you for sex?
Constantly wants to be with you and know where you are at
all times?
Has a history of bad relationships and blames the "ex"
all the time?
Friends and Family have warned you about them?
You are afraid of them?
If so, you may be in danger of experiencing abuse within the
relationship. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE NATIONAL CRISIS HOTLINE
800 799-SAFE |
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Ten Things To Do
If Your Are In An Abusive Relationship
1 1 When violence occurs,
if you are threatened or afraid, call 911.
2 Take your children
and go to a safe place.
3 Go to the Emergency
Room if injured.
4 Call 800 799-SAFE
for referrals to a domestic violence shelters.
5 If leaving home, take
important documents: birth certificates, bank, car & insurance
documents; social security cards; picture I.D. Try to
set aside extra cash and all the items above in a one place,
or simply know ahead time where these things are; before you
need them.
6 If you believe you
will not be hurt, then tell your partner that you cannot see
a future in this marriage unless he, or she, gets counseling
for being verbally abusive and/or violent. And, not
just regular run of the mill counseling, but Domestic Violence
or Anger Management therapy. This is how about 15% of
the male group members in the Los Angeles Domestic Violence
class, that I co-facilitate with Alyce La Violette, MFT, through
her agence, 'Alternatives To Violence.' We have groupls
in Long Beach and West Los Angeles.
7 Keep an extra set
of car and house keys outside or at a neighbor's house.
8 Pack a set of clothes
and shoes for you or your children and store with a friend,
neighbor or church.
9 Obtain a Protection
From Abuse order.
10 Know that you are
not alone, and confidential, affordable help is available.
The Cycle of Violence
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Email me here,
if there are any problems. |
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