Read this book tonight as a couple.
Or, listen to the 1 hour podcast summary.

CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP TONIGHT!

     Targeted skills training.
For less than cost of a dinner out, you can transform your marriage and relationships.

This book, course and seminar can change your relationship. It can also be the sign that it's time for professional help. If someone cannot fulfill the agreements made in this Home Study Course, then one of two things become clear. Either, the person is-
1) truly out of their own control; or
2) the person does not want to control the behavior.

• Bring some structure to your disagreements. When both parties of a couple agree on the same guidelines, then chaos and unnecessary conflict is prevented.
• No more blaming. The exercise on pages 24-25 often have couples tearfully admitting out loud what they know they do that hurts the other.  Download this exercise HERE.
• It's not just great information!  The workbook is full of exercises you do with your partner.
• In the workshop couples receive two workbooks, because each partner fills out many pages of exercises and self test inventories.
• What sets our manual apart from other relationship conflict books is that half of the manual is devoted to exercises which educate, illustrate, model and transform the way conflict is perceived.
• Get started right now with improving your relationship.

Full Money Back Guarantee!   We are so confident that if you practice the skills and make the agreements with your partner that you will experience a shift for the better in your relationship.   If you don't find the manual of value to you we will give you your money back.

Get the Book, the eBook, the
One Hour Podcast, or Both the
.Pdf Download eBook & the Podcast

Couples Communication
Skills Seminar Manual

Order HARD COPY of seminar manual HERE for $39.95 mailed to your home.  OR purchase the DOWNLOAD the whole manual right now for $14.95 and immediately begin to stop arguing and start understanding each other tonight.
 OR get the combo one hour podcast and the immediately downloadable .pdf of the workshop manual NOW! 

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Download Seminar Manual as eBook

Order the Seminar Manual eBook HERE. Have this 128 page eBook version of the workshop manual in 5 minutes.

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Download One Hour Podcast Summary

Order the One Hour Podcast Summary of the course HERE.  Hear the Five Agreements and the Two Skills on your iPod or computer.

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Download eBook & Podcast Combo

Save money and order BOTH the Podcast AND the eBook for just $24.95. Take another look at the testimonials page to see if there is reason enough to think about investing about a sixth of a session with a professional counsellor in these materials which may transform your marriage or relationship HERE.

How much progress can
I expect from the Course?

About half the couples who take the course seem to be able to make changes and to show improvement and growth in the relationship.   There are many reasons that make it hard for someone to make progress.   I think it&apo;s fair to say the progress can be measured by changes in each partner's ability to better control what they do and what they say.   So progress is about control of one's own behavior.

Reasons Why You May Not
Be Able To Control Yourself

There are only a few reasons that explain why someone cannot follow these four agreements:

A. You are slow-witted and don't really comprehend the concepts.

B. You never really thought you had a problem and you just don't want to change.

C. You may have a medical or psychological illness that makes you prone to impulsivity.

One patient of mine summed it up in one sentence while describing her husband's failure to follow his simple commitments.   She said, "He's either an idiot, an A-hole or he is sick."   It's a little crude, but it does briefly sum up the basic ways to understand why very basic rules aren't followed.   Reason #1 does not simply describe intelligence. It also includes people who are not emotionally intelligent.   By this I mean, someone who has not moved fully through his, or her, cognitive and emotional development.  

One patient summed up her boyfriend's inability to change as: He's either an idiot, an A-hole or he's sick.

1) I take exception to the first category, because being sensitive to another person's feelings has nothing to do with intelligent.
2) Some men, or women, are simply not interested in changing and do not really care if their behavior hurts others.
3) As a mental health clinician I can say that there are several diagnoses that make it difficult, if not impossible, for someone to take responsibility for the behavior; or to show compassion for how their behavior has affected others.

These people may not understand the concept of two separate individuals in a room, each with a different experience of the conflict.    When someone does not have good emotional intelligence one may only think solely in terms of black and white or right and wrong.   Many of these types have trouble with personal boundaries.   So, their view of conflict in a couple is very limited.  There is a right person and a wrong person.   There is a perpetrator and a victim.  There is only one winner and thus always one loser.

Program Shows EXACTLY What To Do & Say
Try this SAMPLE EXERCISE.

Table Of Contents Of The Seminar Manual

• Commitments & Values - What's more important...Pride or hurting your partner?
• Agreement To Spend Weekly Time Together To Talk.
• Listening Exchange- It's about taking turns!
• Safety then Understanding the Other then Expressing My P.O.V.
• Obstacles to Listening...What I Can Improve On?
• Stop Destructive Arguing Using Time Outs.
• Handling Contempt, Rejection & Hostility-
  It's not 'what you said' it's the 'way you said it.'
• Respect Agreement- "I do not want to see myself making you feel badly."
• What I'll Do If I Cannot Reasonably Keep My Agreements
• Listening to the Anger of Others - First Pants then Shoes
• Expressing Anger- Is This About Me...Or Is This About You?
• Practice Vignette Examples - To Practice Your Skills
• Personal Inventory - Childhood Influences on Current Conflicts.
• Self Tests- Medical/Psychological Issues that Affect Conflict.
• Physical, Psychological and Emotional Violence.
• Should I Stay...or Should I Leave the Relationship?
• Recommended Readings.

At least now we agree about the rules when we talk about tough subjects- Read testimonials HERE.

Manual & eBook Is
Chock Full O'Tools

Whether you get the workbook, the podcast summary or take the seminar;  it's like having a complete toolbelt.   A toolbelt of skills and agreements that you'll have practiced and seen how great they work to bring calm and peace to conversations that used to be very volatile and confusing.

One Hour Podcast

Learn these principles while you drive or exercise by getting the RealHope podcast of Marc's interview that describes everything in the workshop and seminar manual.  Marc was interviewed for 72 minutes by Beth Lapides and he lays out his whole program.   The philosophy of how it works and he outlines the common pitfalls for people using the workbook at home.   The podcast are GREAT for couples who cannot come to Los Angeles for the workshop.

The Podcasts AND the .pdf of the whole manual are ready for you to use RIGHT NOW!  You can put import this file into your iTunes or other .mp3 players and listen to great ways to change the quality of your relationship!

You insure your health...your car...and your life... Now insure that your relationship grows into a lifetime of caring, respect and love!
This is great 'Relationship Insurance''

If Only Men Would Listen Better ,
Then Women Would Not Go Nuclear.
Or Is It-
If Only Women Would Not Go Nuclear,
Then Men Would Listen Better?

So which comes first? Ask yourself which
one YOU  have some control over.

My podcast, eBook or attending my Los Angeles
seminar gives you dozens of ways to change this.

People have so much more power to change things than they know!!

Men have the keys of the kingdom in their hands, but they cannot see it.   I significantly improved my relationships in these two ways:  I stopped defending myself immediately when my partner was mad at me.  I worked to rearrange my values so that my behavior and words reflected that I cared about how she experienced the problem.   I learned that the most believable way to show her that I cared about her was to stop defending myself as a first response to her expressions of feelings.  If my first words are defensive then I have blown it.

Several illnesses make it difficult, if not impossible, to consistently control one's behavior.   Here is a list of illnesses and the percentage of people in the population that have that illness.

• Depression- Ranging from 3%-5%.
• Posttraumatic Stress Disorder- Ranging from 3% to 14%
• Anxiety Disorders- Ranging from 2% to 5%.
• Personality Disorders ie. Narcisism, Borderline, Dependent
• Poorly developed social and emotional intelligence. ?%
• Bipolar Disorder (Manic Depressive) 2%
• Alcoholism/Drug Dependence 12%
• Other Addictions ie. Sex, Gambling,

What If There Is Abuse Or
Violence In My Relationship?

There is a continuum of behaviors within a relationship that can be called abusive.   They range from being slightly disrespectful to your partner, such as raising your voice in an argument; increasing to using physical violence to control the partner.   Most disrespectful and violent behavior is about controlling the partner.   There is a common understanding that these men and women do not change.  This is only true when the person is not getting treatment.   Research shows that about 5% of violent relationships are where females are doing the intimidation.   I often hear from men that the women they are with are violent with them, and that they should be in treatment.   Of course, this statement usually precedes that man's full change in his behavior.   But, more important than this is a fact that most of us who peruse newspaper headlines can confirm just with our anecdotal experience.

When a woman is violent with a man,
it might be embarrassing & maybe painful for the man.

When a man gets violent with a woman
It can mean life and death!

The common wisdom is that abusive people do not change.   This is generally true; but actually it only applies when the perpetrator does not seek treatment specifically for abusive behavior.   Treatment for abusive behaviors has only been around since the 1970's and the results of long lasting behavior changes are about as successful as addiction treatments.   Go HERE to learn more about abusive behaviors.